FOXBORO-New England Patriots head coach Bill Belichick shocked the NFL world today by announcing that this will be his last season coaching football. When asked why he said, “I just can’t fit any more Super Bowl Championship rings on my fingers. They’re all full.”
He went on to add, “I think Devonta Freeman choking and missing that key block in last years Super Bowl resulting in the strip sack, 2nd half rally and another one of these damn rings really forced my decision. You people don’t realize how heavy these freakin things are.”
When asked if he would reconsider his decision he said, “Not unless someone can figure out a way to sew some more fingers on my hand and the Atlanta Falcons can figure out a way to win big games instead of just meaningless regular season games” He then just gave all the reporters a blank stare. With no emotion on his face.
Well, neither one of those scenarios look likely in the forseeable future so enjoy your last season of hooded sweatshirts with cutoff sleeves Patriots fans.