I’m starting up a new series here where I’m going to be reviewing the robery, the brobes, the bro-robes at all hotels that I stay in.  I don’t own any robes but I consider myself a robe guy.  They look comfortable as fuck.  Hugh Hefner always wears one at the Playboy mansion and he gets tons of hot girls to party with him so they can’t be that bad right?

If you’re looking for hotel reviews you’re in the wrong blog.  I’m only reviewing the man robes.  First stop Orlando, Florida.

Omni Resort at Championsgate

I stay here alot but have never tried their robes.  I was happy to find one waiting for me here without asking.  It was almost like they knew I was there for a brobe review.

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Not gonna lie it was a little snug.  I’m not a small guy.  6 foot, 240 lbs currently but this was too small for me.  I walked through the lobby in it and people were laughing at me.  Bunch of weirdos.  It’s about comfort, not style.  I had gym shorts on under it.  I’ll give the Omni a B grade for effort.

Orlando Hilton

When got to my room I was surprised to see this.

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Nothing.  No robe.  I texted the snookape crew that picture and asked, “What kind of establishment is this?  No brobe!”  Snookape blogger @cowdick responded “Call the front desk or try the man spa area.”

I called the girl at the front desk and told her “There seems to be a problem up here.  There is no man robe in my room.”  She found that funny, which I appreciated, and offered to send me a brobe and slippers right away.  Here’s the robe.  Looser and better fitting than the Omni.  More comfortable.

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I turned down the slippers which was a huge mistake.  It’s all slippers nowadays.  I need slippers like I need air to breathe now.  I’ll give the Orlando Hilton robe an A and bump it up to an A+ for incredible customer service.

Orlando World Center Marriott

Again no robe in room and I was tired of calling the front desk.  Also, the place is huge so I didn’t think they would bring me one quickly so I said screw it.  But I did find this hanging on the bathroom door on that hook that you always leave your bathing suit on and don’t check when you leave.  The people that stayed in the room before me must have left it there.

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I believe the Brazilians call it a surunga.  I just put it on to get a funny picture.  Velcro waistband thing on it.  Kind of weird.  I like a robe better.  I instantly regretted that picture when I thought about someone else wearing it or wiping something with it and I threw it on unwashed.  Gross.  I really can’t review this hotel since there was no robe and I didn’t ask for one to confirm if they even have them or not.  Grade-Incomplete.

The search continues for the perfect hotel/cruise ship robe which you know I’m taking with when I find it.  Leave any suggestions in the comment section below.